Am I THE ONLY ONE...? #2

Am I the only one who was so glad the torture of infancy was over when my baby ham finally slept through the night, but now that she is turning one year old, I kind of miss the baby a little bit.

Yes, there are inconveniences when they are totally dependent on you, and it is great to see your child becoming more independent; crawling around the house with purpose, talking to you in their own language, recognizing you, standing up, demanding what they want when they want it.

Still, I miss the times when I could hold her in my arms for as long as I wanted. Gaze at her face. Kiss her a million times without being pushed away. Put her down in one place, and know that she’d be there when I got back.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go backward - but now that she is growing up, I miss some of what used to drive me crazy. Fortunately, that makes me want to really cherish what is before me right now:
*The way she moves when she crawls.
*The way she sometimes sounds Korean when she is barking out indecipherable instructions to me.
*The way she shrieks and laughs when she finds something funny.
*The way she reacts to music, bopping her head and twisting her body freely, with no self-consciousnes whatsoever, just sheer enjoyment.
*The way her face brightens when I walk into the room when I hear her calling or crying for me in the morning.
*The way she snuggles her head onto my shoulder when I pick her up from the crib.
*The way she points at things now, wanting me to give them a name.
*The ways she bursts with glee when my partner comes home from work.
*The way she plays peek-a-boo, when she is barely hidden, and is so joyful when I pretend I can see her again.
*The way she tricks me into thinking she is going to share a Cherrio with me, then laughs when she pulls her hand back at the last minute.
*The way she ‘cow bawls’ for something she wants, then breaks into a smile when I imitate her.

I could go on and on and on. She is amazing. Why waste time pining for moments past, when the present is just so rich, wonderful and delicious?

AM I THE ONLY ONE...? #1

Am I the only one who goes through the myriad of buckles and snaps to strap his kid into the car seat and then forgets to strap the car seat to the car?

There has got to be a better way. Hopefully someone out there is inventing a car that already comes equipped with car seats that will be versatile enough to be used until a child is old enough to ride without it. I will be first in line. Take a second mortgage on my home. Maybe even rent out my baby just for the joy of not having to deal with all of this car seat madness for the rest of my life.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my Baby Ham and she seems to enjoy riding/napping in the car, but the mechanics of us getting on the road safely can sometimes cause me to just stay at home.

I live in the Hollywood Hills, and sometimes when I am in a hurry to make an appointment, I forget to use the seat belt to strap the car seat to the car. Then as I am winding my way down the hill and around a curve, I hear the car seat slide across the back seat or tilt to the side. My heart leaps out of my chest, up through my throat and into my mouth where I bite it hard just to punish myself for being so stupid and putting my Baby Ham at risk. While my Baby Ham is laughing and pumping her fists for more stunt driving, I pull over, jump out of the car, strap the car seat into place, then continue our trip while cursing myself and praying to the Lord above that someone will hear my plea for a vehicle equipped with guilt free baby safety devices.

There was a time when it took me less than fifteen minutes to get ready and go anywhere...okay, maybe less than 20 minutes. Those days are long gone. Now if I have a 10am appointment, I have to be ready to leave the house at least 45 minutes before my normal departure time (if the baby doesn’t wake up on schedule, or she doesn’t feel like eating until she is ready - add another 45 minutes and a phone call apologizing and explaining why I’m going to be late.)

What takes me so long to get out of the house? Well, I have to make sure the baby is dressed, fed, and something is done with her tuffs of hair. Hair is quite a challenge as she hates for me to come near her with anything resembling a comb or brush. When she sees either of these items, she becomes a crawling Jackie Joyner Kersee and takes off waddling across the room as fast as she can.

After I catch her, I sit her on my lap so she can’t get away as I apply some product to her hair. (She’s Black, and while she is no nappy-headed “what Imus said” she does NEED hair product.) She wiggles and bounces and grabs onto me, rubbing her hair onto my clothes staining whatever I am wearing. This causes me to brush her hair as quickly as possible to put an end to this ordeal. Can she really be that devious and clever at eleven months old?

All right, so I have her hair done and she’s dressed, then I have to change my shirt -which probably means ironing. Next I have to make sure the diaper bag is stocked, figure out exactly how long we will be away from home and pack her diapers, bottles, food and snacks and toys accordingly. By this time I am sweating, but that’s okay, when I get in the car I turn the air conditioner up to full blast and point all the vents toward my face to air dry.

By the time my Baby Ham is strapped in and I'm backing out of the garage, I am either amazed that I did it in time, or horrified that I am going to be late and get the “now that he’s a dad he’s not as sharp as he used to be” look from people who used to know me when.

Being a stay at home dad, can be a wonderful, fun and rewarding experience. It can also be exhausting, humiliating, BORING and gut wrenching, at least to me. I wonder...am I the only one...?